It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
