THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
