shes about as inviting as chlamydia
His hands were made for my vagina.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
