just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
