so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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