You made me cry and you don't even care
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
