Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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