when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I AM VODKA MAN
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
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