No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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