The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I am one with the molecules
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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