Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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