I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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