I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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