she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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