I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
