i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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