I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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