exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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