Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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