Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
