I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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