Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
