you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
