Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
