I'm so fucking centered right now
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
