yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
And then my night got REAL pukey
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
