Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
