Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
