now i know why i became what i already was.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
