i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
