who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
sex in a hospital.. check
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
