Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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