you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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