Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
