they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
