It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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