The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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