Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
