No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
