my sisters under your porch take her home
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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