Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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