just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
And then he peed in my hair
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