3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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