Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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