My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
