On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
