Dual....:-)
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
