there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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