He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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