Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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