So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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