She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize