I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
