Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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