they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
