i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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