I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
not ubering you a puppy
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