is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
