She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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