i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
