I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
