my mouth tastes like poor choices
id be glad to
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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