I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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