but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
