I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
